It was only yesterday I heard that reaction on TV when a reporter rang at a house and the dazed female occupant reluctantly admitted the crew. A bit similar to what happens when you unexpectedly give someone a ride in your car (don’t mind the clutter…. the children, the dog, so busy these days,…).
Recognisable? I plead guilty as well. It is all about shame, and the fear of not being considered good enough or perfect enough by someone else (and especially by yourself). Apparently it is mostly women who feel ashamed – they want to live up to the image of the perfect, caring, well-groomed woman, mother, partner, professional who manages to combine everything, seemingly without effort. A man is apparently more ashamed of the idea that he could be perceived as weak. It is hardly surprising that these differences serve as the perfect breeding ground for misunderstanding and tension between men and women – a potentially interesting topic for another Inspiration.
Check out the TED talk by Brené Brown ‘Listening to shame’ (https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame) – quite enlightening, original and funny.
These past few days I’ve asked myself what I am ashamed of (or used to be ashamed of, these things tend to evolve). And come to think of it – when does shame start, as obviously young children are not bothered by it? Does shame have a function, does it make us a better person? Wouldn’t it be much more comfortable to live without this useless burden and just stand for who you are, show your true self and forget about appearances?
I will set an example and publicly admit to something (next to what is mentioned above) that makes me blush with shame: I do not exactly change our bedsheets on a regular basis, and this makes me feel like a failed housewife. I don’t even keep track of when I changed them the last time, I follow my gut feeling or wait until I feel like investing time in this chore. Of course nobody sees this except for our cleaner (I do wonder what she makes of it… more blushing). I have this idea in my head that a good housewife has a fixed schedule for these chores. So if you were thinking that next to being punctual as a blogger, I am equally punctual as a housewife, you are very much mistaken.
And now it is your turn – I dare you to confess to something you feel ashamed about. Or do you have interesting insights about this topic that you want to share? Let us know.